Many years ago, I attended a workshop by Elaine McMeeking from New Zealand and she explained the 5 conflict handling styles. She explained that people some times having a pattern where the avoid confrontation , then accomodate the other person and then bang one day they explode.
After the session, I walked upto her and said that “People think I am aggressive when I am just being upfront”. Her advise was explain why are you saying what you are saying.
I introspected and realized that most of the time I instictively knew (Thinslicing in the words of Malcolm Gladwell in Blink) however I till then not processed why I was saying what I was saying. So, when I responsed witha flat “NO” and people asked “Why?”, I couldn’t answer and that would seem as arrogance/ obstinacy etc.
So, I decided that I would ask for time to think and then respond.
Recently, I faced such a situation where earlier I would have categorically and point blank said “NO” leading to my loosing my relationship with a very capable professional. Instead I asked for time to get back to her. I then sat down and asked myself the question: “Why do I think that the program design that she is suggesting will not work?” So I wrote this email:
“Hi Client,
After our conference call yesterday, I and my colleagues have sat down and brainstormed on the workshop.
While we could do a program like you suggested (which would have 12 activities and would cover 7 habits and innovation in 2 days), as your learning consultants it is our responsibility to forewarn you that we do not think that it is the right program design.
Our reasons are:
1. Do we want creativity at the store manager’s level or compliance to procedures/ programs?. In our experience the requirement is compliance.
2. Indian learner’s especially those over 25 and or people from tier2/3 towns are habituated to learning in a particular style and that basically involves lecture. Alternative methodologies need to get their buy-in as their effectiveness depends on the richness of the interaction. My experience with retail staff is that we can’t bet that the interaction is rich and insightful. And this is my experience with brands that are premium and metro based. Add to this the fact that the regional managers will be in the room. What will be the probability of anyone sticking their neck out.
3. Any learning intervention with an overdependence on one training methodology ( in this case outdoor games) has an inherent flaw in that it is catering to only some kind of learners (in this case only the kinesthetic learner). The visual learners and auditory learners are not being catered to sufficiently. Also unless there is variety it leads to boredom.
4. The pace of the program is very fast covering many concepts – 7 habits, DISC and how to use it and innovation. We need to provide enough space for introspection, discussion and making plan of actions on how to apply it in their unique situation.
5. Games and a debrief are good in the affective domain (we can reach till valuing in Krathwohl’s Taxonomy and if we spend time in discussions till organizing) however that need not translate into any change in behavior. This means people say yes creativity is required however they may still do not know how to be creative in their job role. In the cognitive domain we need to reach application on Blooms taxonomy wherein they can think of how to apply the concepts in their workplace. Once they say this is where they see value and would like to apply we will need to provide them tools/ skills.
6. I understand you want the 7 habits to be used as a summary at the end in 2 slides. My experience is that it can’t be explained in 2 slides/10 mins with any rigor and thus will lead to oversimplification or worst misunderstanding. It’s value as a theoretical construct which we share upfront is that it serves as a shelf where insights and learning gained from games, AV’s, activities etc. can be placed. Without that the learning is nebulous and can’t be retained. (None of the outdoor activities are so emotionally charged that they will be stored by the amygdala and will have a long lasting effect).
My concern is that since your company is not an organization where training is in it’s DNA. A ineffective program or one that doesn’t cater to the here and now may irreversibility impact the credibility of the training function. I would want that we have a conversation at the earliest so that we could discuss the program and if you would want to continue with us as external consultants.”
After receiving this email the client may still decide to go ahead with her program design with another consultant but at least she will not say that I was stubborn without reason.
Mission accomplished.
Contributed by: Lovely Kumar, Chief-Projects, Larks Learning
For more information on our training, assessment and coaching interventions please contact at 91-9899108659 or lovely@larkslearning.com